If I had a 'most frequently asked question' of the last few months, it would be something along the lines of, "Sweden? So you'll be bringing home good watches and great chocolate?"
Sweden. Switzerland. Two totally different countries. I think it's time to shed some light on my Scandinavian home-to-be and why I believe I'm supposed to be there. Grab some coffee; I think this is a good story.
My story starts in a ninth-grade geography class. While I had learned all the countries of the world before (fourth-grade or so), it wasn't until I was in AP US History with Mr. Mike Pendergast that I realized that what happens in foreign countries matters to the United States. Suddenly, the walls of my world extended. I still didn't really care much about Sweden, though. Except for the brawny, blonde, blue-eyed men, there wasn't much else I knew about a country so far north some provinces didn't see sunlight in winter.
Then, in fall of 2007, I was on a break between classes and browsing the internet in the library. I stumbled upon Scott Schuman's photos of fashionable people on the streets of Stockholm. "Incredible! Gorgeous!" I thought. "But how would I, a girl from small town America, ever get there? I mean, Sweden? Who goes there?" So I jumped back into the scholarly world of philosophy, religious studies, and literature, and kept the two worlds apart in my brain.
God had other plans. Typical. On the night of September 28, I heard Ben and Jacqueline Meredith share about what Campus Crusade for Christ does in Sweden. They were talking about their experiences in helping lead a Summer Project specifically, but everything they were saying about the culture struck a chord in my heart. Sweden is a first world country. Swedes are brilliant. Swedes are literate. Swedes love to have coffee and deep conversations. Swedes are concerned about the future of a global economy. Swedes live, move, and have their being in a thoroughly postmodern context. Sweden's mindset is in a place now where America's next generations of students are heading, and heading fast.
I didn't ask God whether or not I should apply for whatever this whole "STINT" business was about.
I didn't have to. In that moment, I knew with an unshakable conviction that this was my next step. I actually called one of my best friends immediately--not to ask for advice, but to share that God had made it incredibly clear that I was to pursue going to Sweden next year.
I came home and did what any college student who puts off writing papers does: research.
Sweden bills itself as "The World's Most Equal Country," there is the astonishing fact that while roughly 80% of Swedes belong to the Church of Sweden, only 20% believe in any sort of God figure at all.
I didn't, and still don't, understand exactly how this works so I asked my friend Daniel who was on an exchange to Western Carolina at the time to explain how he felt about Christianity. What he said both brings tears to my eyes and inspires me at the same time. I asked him if I could share what he said with you (and he said yes); there's something about hearing it straight from the heart of my good friend:
I don't believe in the religion. I don't think there is a God or that Jesus ever existed. I like the institution of Christianity, its value base. I have respect fore those people who do believe in God and therefore I want them to have churches, etc. I grew up in a family that was not religious and I think that is the biggest reason why I didn't become a Christian.This breaks my heart, piques my curiosity, and has spurred me to pursue the goal of living in Sweden as a full-time missionary for at least the next year. I want to sit down over coffee with Daniel again and ask more questions and share more of my life experiences and how believing in Jesus really has made a difference in my life and how I have come to find that it is not completely illogical to be academically motivated and grounded in a personal faith.
It feels wrong to say that I chose not to be a Christian. In a way, it was a choice but a very indirect choice. It was never there and therefore it was not an option.
I chose to believe in humanity, in people. My life so far feels fulfilled in that spiritual way. I have, because of friends, been to a couple of different Christian churches. I want to understand them and can relate to a lot of what they believe in because, as I mentioned, we have a common value base.
Why this hasn't made me a Christian is maybe I feel that so far, believing in humanity and people is giving me what I need spiritually. I don't feel like there is something like that missing in my life. Maybe one day I will feel that something is missing and maybe I will also start to believe in God and Jesus or Mohammed or Buddha or something or someone else.
Through Campus Crusade for Christ, I've been given an opportunity to take this next year to do just that. My calling is to live my life in a transparent, authentic, and honest way in front of the students of Uppsala and to offer them an introduction to the God of the universe who desires with unending compassion and overwhelming love to know and be known by each student on a very intimate, personal level.
It's difficult for me to articulate this whole amazing journey. Even as I write these words, my breath catches in my chest and tears well in my eyes. This, my friends, is what I'm asking you to partner with me to do. You may not feel quite the same about Sweden, or Jesus, or missionaries, or students. That's a lot less important than believing that this is the right thing for me to do in this moment, in this day and age.
I happen to have a year that God has graciously provided, without mortgage or car payments, without overwhelming family or romantic involvements. I have been given this chance to go, and I am not taking that for granted.
So, firstly, would you please commit to pray for me and let me know that you're doing so? This is a scary undertaking. People everywhere are nervous about the economy, about the future, about freedom--but I refuse to be disheartened or discouraged. God's commitment to us is unwavering. I stand by that. I also believe that we are strongest when we stand together.
And, secondly, would you please consider joining my financial team of supporters? There is a role to play, whether you sponsor the cost of registering for a visa, a plane ticket, or give any amount monthly.
One very difficult part of this process is the fact that if I do not have my full committed support team complete by August 1, I will not go. That's a swift deadline, but again: I refuse to be disheartened or discouraged. God's commitment to us is unwavering. I stand by that. We are strongest when we stand together because no one could do this alone. We were never meant to.
For more details about how you can give and what kinds of financial support I need, see these posts.
